My room smells like vodka and shame
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
