i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Randomize
