i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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