I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
