I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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