it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
