none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
