I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
