I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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