Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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