i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
