I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
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