Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
