You're so nebulous sometimes
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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