its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
