I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Randomize
