it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
then he tried to convert me to islam
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
