i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
i barfeds in our rink
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
