So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
