JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Randomize
