So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
