Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
