that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Randomize
