Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
We left the knife in your bed.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Randomize
