Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
