Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Randomize
