i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
