You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
