do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I've blown a few things in my day
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
