mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
