Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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