I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Randomize
