he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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