No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
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