clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
