If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
