Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
