so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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