I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
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