your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
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