I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
