i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
