I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Randomize
