walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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