i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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