rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
