no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
