i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
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