So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
