i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
